The Hardest Thing of All

Well I have been talking to whoever is reading this blog for a few weeks on the subject of friendship, specifically the value of friendships and the things that cause them to fail. I hope all of this has been helpful and that in some way some of the principles I have mentioned will enhance and preserve the friendships you are blessed with. 


This week I want to get to one of the hardest things of all. When included in your friendship this particular thing will preserve and strengthen it, but without it the relationship is sure to die. This is something that we all really want from our friends but often have such a hard time giving it to our friends. It is vital, it is messy and hard, it is forgiveness. 


Your friends are going to mess up! They are going to let you down and not come through for you. They may even hurt you deeply and disappointed you in ways you never expected. (By the way, in time you will do all of those things to your friends too). The question is not if your friends will let you down or hurt you, but what will you do about it when they do. How will you deal with that friend once the anger or disappointment has worn off a little? If your friendship is going to survive and recover, then forgiveness is the key.


Here is where the "one simple rule" comes into play. When you know that you have blown it and let your friend down, the thing you hope for most is that they forgive you. You pray that they see your point of view and accept your explanation of things. You are hoping for a second chance (or a 15th chance and on and on). If that is what you are really hoping for then you must remember that the friend who has hurt you is hoping that you respond with the same kind of understanding and forgiveness. 


Forgivingness is hard, it is messy sometimes, and it can take some time to really work out. Most of the time we won't to forgive the friend who has hurt us because the pain of their actions is real and difficult to overcome. But again, if the friendship is going to survive there is no way around the fact that forgiveness is going to have to be a part of the process. There is no way around it. Forgiveness is the key.


If you have read my previous posts then you know that friendship is so valuable that it is worth the work that forgiveness takes. We are talking about eternal things here, and that is why God can and does give us the strength to forgive others and see our friendships restored and preserved. 


Next time I'll talk more about what forgiveness looks like when lived out in a friendship.