Mt 6:14-15 For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
Why did Jesus have to say stuff like that? Since it was Jesus that said it we can't just ignore it or work around it, and we can't negotiate our way out of it. But there it is - if we do not forgive the people who sin against us, God will not forgive us when we sin! It's a simple decision that God has made to help us understand the incredible importance of forgiveness.
Forgiveness is something that Jesus talked about a lot, but what does it really look like when lived out in real life? Most of what Jesus said about forgiveness answers that question, but the bottom line is this: forgiveness is something that requires your actions much more than your words.
Consider these other hard things that Jesus said about forgiveness...
Bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. (Luke 6:28)
Blessing and cursing is all about how we use our words when we talk about the people who have hurt us. When that happens our first response is often to lash out and say all kinds of things that can't be taken back. How many times have your words made things worse though? How many bridges have we burned by running to all open ears and telling all kinds of things about those who have hurt us? Could it be that Jesus knew we would make it worse so he told us to speak blessing instead of curses? Could it be that he knows so much about us that he is trying to keep us from the greater pain of killing a friendship that could be saved? I think so.
If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic. (Luke 6:29)
So it's not just about what we say, here Jesus goes to what we do. Can you really imagine acting that way toward someone who wrongs you? But can you see that this is not a suggestion from Jesus, it is a commandment! Does Jesus want us to be weak, to let the other person win and get away with hurting us? It seems that way because this is not how we are taught to react. We are taught revenge, punishment, and payback. But again Jesus knows that what we do after we have been hurt will either make things better or worse, and most of our natural instinct will lead us to so things that make it worse!
I have recently had the opportunity to put all of this into practice, and the advice of a good friend has really helped me. He passed along something that God had told him in a similar situation. He said "How you respond right now will determine your future in ministry." That is such a great insight into God's motivation for pushing us toward forgiveness, he is thinking about our future while we are focused on our past or present.
Forgiveness is hard for sure, but unforgiveness is worse. Forgiveness is hard right now but it sets us free to move on, unforgiveness may be easier right now but will bind us to our past and keep the pain of past hurts alive and fresh. So when Jesus commanded us to forgive, he was not trying to make life hard for us, he was trying to set us free!
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
The Hardest Thing of All
Well I have been talking to whoever is reading this blog for a few weeks on the subject of friendship, specifically the value of friendships and the things that cause them to fail. I hope all of this has been helpful and that in some way some of the principles I have mentioned will enhance and preserve the friendships you are blessed with.
This week I want to get to one of the hardest things of all. When included in your friendship this particular thing will preserve and strengthen it, but without it the relationship is sure to die. This is something that we all really want from our friends but often have such a hard time giving it to our friends. It is vital, it is messy and hard, it is forgiveness.
Your friends are going to mess up! They are going to let you down and not come through for you. They may even hurt you deeply and disappointed you in ways you never expected. (By the way, in time you will do all of those things to your friends too). The question is not if your friends will let you down or hurt you, but what will you do about it when they do. How will you deal with that friend once the anger or disappointment has worn off a little? If your friendship is going to survive and recover, then forgiveness is the key.
Here is where the "one simple rule" comes into play. When you know that you have blown it and let your friend down, the thing you hope for most is that they forgive you. You pray that they see your point of view and accept your explanation of things. You are hoping for a second chance (or a 15th chance and on and on). If that is what you are really hoping for then you must remember that the friend who has hurt you is hoping that you respond with the same kind of understanding and forgiveness.
Forgivingness is hard, it is messy sometimes, and it can take some time to really work out. Most of the time we won't to forgive the friend who has hurt us because the pain of their actions is real and difficult to overcome. But again, if the friendship is going to survive there is no way around the fact that forgiveness is going to have to be a part of the process. There is no way around it. Forgiveness is the key.
If you have read my previous posts then you know that friendship is so valuable that it is worth the work that forgiveness takes. We are talking about eternal things here, and that is why God can and does give us the strength to forgive others and see our friendships restored and preserved.
Next time I'll talk more about what forgiveness looks like when lived out in a friendship.
This week I want to get to one of the hardest things of all. When included in your friendship this particular thing will preserve and strengthen it, but without it the relationship is sure to die. This is something that we all really want from our friends but often have such a hard time giving it to our friends. It is vital, it is messy and hard, it is forgiveness.
Your friends are going to mess up! They are going to let you down and not come through for you. They may even hurt you deeply and disappointed you in ways you never expected. (By the way, in time you will do all of those things to your friends too). The question is not if your friends will let you down or hurt you, but what will you do about it when they do. How will you deal with that friend once the anger or disappointment has worn off a little? If your friendship is going to survive and recover, then forgiveness is the key.
Here is where the "one simple rule" comes into play. When you know that you have blown it and let your friend down, the thing you hope for most is that they forgive you. You pray that they see your point of view and accept your explanation of things. You are hoping for a second chance (or a 15th chance and on and on). If that is what you are really hoping for then you must remember that the friend who has hurt you is hoping that you respond with the same kind of understanding and forgiveness.
Forgivingness is hard, it is messy sometimes, and it can take some time to really work out. Most of the time we won't to forgive the friend who has hurt us because the pain of their actions is real and difficult to overcome. But again, if the friendship is going to survive there is no way around the fact that forgiveness is going to have to be a part of the process. There is no way around it. Forgiveness is the key.
If you have read my previous posts then you know that friendship is so valuable that it is worth the work that forgiveness takes. We are talking about eternal things here, and that is why God can and does give us the strength to forgive others and see our friendships restored and preserved.
Next time I'll talk more about what forgiveness looks like when lived out in a friendship.
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