Mt 6:14-15 For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
Why did Jesus have to say stuff like that? Since it was Jesus that said it we can't just ignore it or work around it, and we can't negotiate our way out of it. But there it is - if we do not forgive the people who sin against us, God will not forgive us when we sin! It's a simple decision that God has made to help us understand the incredible importance of forgiveness.
Forgiveness is something that Jesus talked about a lot, but what does it really look like when lived out in real life? Most of what Jesus said about forgiveness answers that question, but the bottom line is this: forgiveness is something that requires your actions much more than your words.
Consider these other hard things that Jesus said about forgiveness...
Bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. (Luke 6:28)
Blessing and cursing is all about how we use our words when we talk about the people who have hurt us. When that happens our first response is often to lash out and say all kinds of things that can't be taken back. How many times have your words made things worse though? How many bridges have we burned by running to all open ears and telling all kinds of things about those who have hurt us? Could it be that Jesus knew we would make it worse so he told us to speak blessing instead of curses? Could it be that he knows so much about us that he is trying to keep us from the greater pain of killing a friendship that could be saved? I think so.
If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic. (Luke 6:29)
So it's not just about what we say, here Jesus goes to what we do. Can you really imagine acting that way toward someone who wrongs you? But can you see that this is not a suggestion from Jesus, it is a commandment! Does Jesus want us to be weak, to let the other person win and get away with hurting us? It seems that way because this is not how we are taught to react. We are taught revenge, punishment, and payback. But again Jesus knows that what we do after we have been hurt will either make things better or worse, and most of our natural instinct will lead us to so things that make it worse!
I have recently had the opportunity to put all of this into practice, and the advice of a good friend has really helped me. He passed along something that God had told him in a similar situation. He said "How you respond right now will determine your future in ministry." That is such a great insight into God's motivation for pushing us toward forgiveness, he is thinking about our future while we are focused on our past or present.
Forgiveness is hard for sure, but unforgiveness is worse. Forgiveness is hard right now but it sets us free to move on, unforgiveness may be easier right now but will bind us to our past and keep the pain of past hurts alive and fresh. So when Jesus commanded us to forgive, he was not trying to make life hard for us, he was trying to set us free!
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