Thursday, June 16, 2011

The High Cost of Lost Friendship

I recently had this status on my Facebook page: "Broken relationships make me so sad". Several people commented on that status and "liked" as it seems that I am not the only one who feels that way. I posted that after seeing a girl that my daughter used to be good friends with. The girl lives out of town but every time she is around she would come over and my daughter was always so glad to see her. Then one day she just stopped coming over. She didn't stop coming to town, just coming to our house. We have never really found out why, but it  just makes me sad that someone could just end a friendship like that.

I know our friends can make us mad, let us down, and even betray us, and yes there are times when a friendship should and must end. But before you decide that you are never going to talk to someone again, please consider the cost of that lost friendship - consider the things you will be giving up when you end that relationship:

- Shared experiences. Your friends have walked with you through good times and bad times and you carry those memories together. A valuable part of remembering the things we have walked through together is in reminding ourselves of the things we learned in the middle of each experience. Your friend not only remembers the times you had together, but can remind of you of all you learned along the way.

- Honest feedback. Perhaps this is why you want to end the friendship, because your friend was a little too honest with you about your faults. But who is going to speak into your life in a loving way about the things you need to improve if you turn your back on every friend who does? The Bible says that the "wounds of a friend can be trusted." All of us need people we trust and respect in our lives, people who know us well enough to tell us when we need to change.

- A helping hand. We all go through tough times in life. If you are not going through one right now, then rest up because you can be sure one is coming! In those tough times we need friends to turn to who will help us get through. How sad it will be for the person who cuts off so many friendships that when trouble comes they stand alone against it.


And what do we trade all of these wonderful things in for when we decide to end a friendship - awkward silence! Is there anything more awkward than being around someone you used to be friends with, especially when the friendship did not end well (as most don't). Unless you live in a large city you know you are going to see those friends again, and you are going to have to avoid them and deal with the guilt, anger, bitterness, and just plain awkwardness that comes from every chance encounter. 

Perhaps you are just so popular that you can afford to cut off a friendship or two, but most of us are not. So the next time you are tempted to never talk to one of your friends again, please remember that there is a high cost to lost friendship. 

(Your homework after reading this is to forgive a friend and go give them hug!)

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